Our natural instincts as parents are driven by the “happy chemicals” in the brain like Oxytocin, Dopamine, Endorphins and Serotonin and the “unhappy chemicals” like Cortisol.

When a son or daughter succeeds, Serotin rewards with a chemically induced surge of: “You are a good parent” pride. When a son or daughter struggles, Cortisol brings discomfort.   If we intervene, Dopamine sends an evolutionary reward for protecting our future DNA. Evolutionary science at work.

Unfortunately, these natural instincts often interfere with the skills needed for our sons and daughters to earn independence. One way or another, real world lessons will be learned, beyond the reach of parents. In traditional schools, the lessons often come from the shame of poor grades, exclusionary cliques or bullies who lurk in the shadows.

At Acton Academy, we reward effort and character with more freedom and responsibility. In the Elementary studio, our focus is on kindness and respecting the rights of others. In Middle School, self-management and consistently delivering high quality work are more important, as is servant leadership.  By Launchpad, the freedom and accountability systems look more like Google, Apple or Bell Labs than a school.

None of this means our natural defense systems as parents aren’t triggered. It’s an evolutionary and chemical reality. But if we truly believe in the Hero’s Journey, we have to override these impulses for the Hero’s Journey to do its magic.